“John Bolton is the kind of man whom I would want to stand at Armageddon, or what the Bible describes as the final battle between good and evil”
– Former US Senator and arch-conservative crackpot, Jesse Helms
Good old John R. Bolton. Everybodys’ favourite bushy-lipped neo-con psychopath has just gone on the record to state that the only way to stop Iran getting nuclear weapons is for Israel to go ahead and nuke the shit out of them. The way he see’s it, containing a nuclear armed Iran is simply out of the question, so Israel better hurry up and do it now, before those demented Persians get their hands on an A-bomb and hit the button first. Y’see, in the deformed thought processes that pass for sound reason in the fevered, bloodthirsty neo-con nerd fantasies of a man like John Bolton, all roads lead to nuclear mayhem. Talk like this would’ve had even Dr. Strangelove peddling his wheelchair furiously towards the fire exit. Does Bolton have a hard-on for the A-bomb or what? What is it JR? Is the thought of unleashing the destructive power of all those big, hard, 10 metre tall nuclear cocks getting you all hot and bothered?
Hilariously enough, Bolton’s pleas for some hot n’ heavy nuclear action were proclaimed in a speech delivered at the University of Chicag0 entitled “Ensuring Peace”. You really can’t script that kind of comedy. Well actually you can, if your name is Terry Southern and you’re writing the screenplay for a Stanley Kubrick movie. Let’s take a look at the exact quotes and see if we can make any sense out of them (Source – The Faster Times):
“Negotiations have failed, and so too have sanctions. So we’re at a very unhappy point — a very unhappy point — where unless Israel is prepared to use nuclear weapons against Iran’s program, Iran will have nuclear weapons in the very near future.”
Let’s just back up for a minute there. We might well be entitled to ask precisely why it is the negotiations with Iran have “failed”. That’s assuming they have, of course. After all, the October 1 summit involving the US, Russia, UK, China, France and Germany negotiating with Iran over its nuclear program was the first time the US has had any genuine diplomatic contact with Iran since the days of the Shah. Previous attempts at “diplomacy” involved issuing demands to cease uranium enrichment while branding Iran as part of an “Axis of Evil” and threatening military strikes.
Perhaps the reason why negotiations are not yielding the desired results, is because the expectations are unreasonable. According to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, which Iran has signed, all nations have the right to pursue nuclear technology for peaceful, domestic use. As yet, no evidence has been produced to suggest that Iran is enriching uranium for anything other than the development of a nuclear energy source. Expecting Iran to cease their uranium enrichment program then, really has no other basis than the fear that they might one day attempt to develop nuclear weapons.
Let’s not forget that the likes of John Bolton have always treated any notion of diplomacy with naked contempt. In 2003, when Iran’s moderate reformist President Mohammed Khatami presented a comprehensive proposal (Iran’s “Grand Bargain”) to resolve all issues of contention between Iran and the US, including that of nuclear development, it was John Bolton who issued the blunt rebuff: “We’re not interested in any grand bargain”.
For the John Boltons of this world, “negotiation” is only ever a one way street. Do as we say, or suffer the consequences.
Bolton continued to express startling leaps of logic during his speech:
“There are some people in the administration who think that it’s not really a problem, we can contain and deter Iran, as we did the Soviet Union during the Cold War. I think this is a great, great mistake and a dangerously weak approach…Whatever else you want to say about them, at least the Soviets believed that they only went around once in this world, and they weren’t real eager to give that up — as compared to a theological regime in Tehran which yearns for life in the hereafter more than life on earth… I don’t think [deterrence] works that way with a country like Iran.”
It’s here that the full insanity of Bolton’s reasoning manifests itself. Let’s be clear here: the best way to prevent Iran from using a nuclear weapon irresponsibly… is to use nuclear weapons against Iran? It’s difficult to understand precisely how he could intend such proclamations to be taken seriously. But Bolton is not renowned for his sense of humour. At least not intentional humour anyway.
Despite being a highly sought after foreign policy “pundit”, with a resume that includes such prominent US governmental posts as the Under Secretary for Arms Control and International Security Affairs, Bolton appears to have a rather tenuous grasp of the nature of the current administration in Iran. He resorts, once again, to that old stalwart – the myth of the “Mad Mullahs” – who control bad old rogue states such as Iran with the fanatic zeal of a suicidal thrill kill cult. Apparently, those demented Persians just can’t wait to unleash the nuclear apocalypse. If they get the bomb, it stands to reason that the first thing they’re going to do is use it against Israel. And if that means bringing total destruction down upon themselves in the process, then so be it.
Does anybody seriously buy into this shit?
Whatever else you might think about Iran’s current regime – and yes, there are serious issues of human rights abuse, election fraud and state oppression to consider – they are not irrational extremists. Dealing with Ayatollah Khamenei and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not the same thing as dealing with a violent terrorist such as Osama bin Laden. Yes, Iran have serious ambitions to become a regional super-power in the Middle East, and these ambitions probably don’t involve any kind of co-operation with the US or Israel in the near future. But there’s nothing to suggest that these ambitions also include assured destruction by deliberately provoking a nuclear shooting match.
If the Iranian regime is as bat-shit crazy as Bolton insists, then we might be entitled to ask why it is they haven’t already attacked anybody in the 30 years since they attained power? I dunno, maybe they figure that getting mixed up in a war with their immediate neighbours (not to mention the US) is not such a good idea? So where’s the alleged extremism? The supposed aggressive irrationality?
If, come what may, all possible diplomatic solutions are exhausted, and if Iran do decide to pursue a nuclear weapons program, and if they do one day manage to obtain a nuclear weapon, then there’s no particular reason to assume that they can’t be contained in the same fashion as any other potentially hostile, nuclear armed state. All that an Iranian nuclear weapon really guarantees is that they won’t be attacked by the US or Israel any time soon. Not necessarily a bad outcome then, if world security is any sort of consideration at all.
Yet Bolton keeps raving away, using his status as a prominent former insider of the Bush II regime to get the war drums beating. We must strike Iran with force. He’s already dismissed any other option as a matter of course. Not just a conventional military strike, you understand. The guy is actually telling us that he doesn’t see any other viable option. Israel should just go ahead and nuke Iran off the face of the planet.
There’s only one conclusion we can really draw here: John Bolton becomes sexually excited when he thinks about mushroom clouds blooming over the Tehran skyline. When Gretchen Bolton is hankering for some of that hot 70’s porn ‘tache action, she starts whispering sweet nothings about the specifications of the UGM-133 Trident II in her husband’s ear. It’s the ultimate neo-con nerd fantasy. Imagine it: actually pushing that big glowing red button and unleashing a hecatomb of nuclear atrocity upon the rag-headed enemies of God’s own Empire. Let the rapture commence.